The NoOrgasm Series: Part IV

Dear Joey,

I've also been told t try anal (but only my guys of course) and the guy that did tell me to do it also told me that his girlfriend went to the bathroom differently after. I'm just really nervous. I hear all these things about how only slutty girls have anal or you have to be in a committed relationship to have it. I'm just so lost. I guess I just want to know if you got any tricks for the bedroom? I'm also not very into oral sex. Not because I'm prudish but because I'm nervous I'm bad at it. I try watching porn for ideas but I don't know if I can trust porn because, well, it's porn! Any tips there?
Thanks,

NoOrgasm Here

NoOrgasm Here,

When someone tells me that they don’t like performing oral sex, I usually attribute it to a lack of confidence in their performance skills. There’s nothing wrong with learning the ropes through experimentation. What I said regarding the importance of communication applies outside and inside the bedroom. Ask your partner/s what they like, I’m sure they’d gladly help you out. Don’t think that you’re innately meant to be a sexual encyclopedia. Once you begin to learn from your partner/s advice, you’ll begin to build a library of techniques, and in turn, gain confidence.

Porn is simply a reflection of the fantasies of the modern man, or even woman (although many feminists tend to disagree). As society creates porn, porn also forms societal views. All things in porn are already being done in society, but aren't quite considered "normal." As I said before, don't let social stigmas bog you down, because if you do... well, you'll just get really good at missionary position. Gradually, sex is becoming more and more palpable to the public, and therefore, these acts are slowly becoming more acceptable. Anyway, most guys masturbate to porn, so there’s nothing wrong with watching it to pick up some moves.
As for anal sex, the same advice goes. Don’t let what other people think hold you back. If this is what you’d like to try, who’s to stop you, just make sure to read up on how to have safe anal sex before making an attempt. Anal sex can be a very intense and pleasurable experience for both partners. For this reason, I propose that it should be kept between you and someone you trust (I’ll let you define that).

In the bedroom, it simply seems to me that you put too much weight on societal values. Attempt to lose views which have been implanted and learn things for yourself. Don’t miss out on something (that may end up giving you an award-winning orgasm) just because someone, once upon a time, told you it’s wrong. Now, go and explore with your new-found knowledge!
Love,

Joey