Hi Josef,
I just saw your blog and just had a question about relationships. I have been seeing this amazing man for about a year and he just moved to the States suddenly for a job. We still really like each other but neither of us wants to do long distance. On top of that he is about 7 years older than me and I don't know how big of an issue that is. I dont have many people to talk about this with and I just wanted to know your opinion.
Thanks so much,
BeachBabe
Dearest BeachBabe,
The only answer that I can think of (without a long distance relationship) is that one of you has to make a major life decision, meaning, one of you has to follow the other to keep the relationship alive. It’s either that or say goodbye and hope that you’re destined to be together and that you’ll find one another again some day.
Sadly, things don’t usually work that way. It’s either one of you risks their comfy life for the other or things may have to come to an end. It’s hard to say if it’s worth following your partner. A year, in my opinion, is not long enough of a relationship to throw away your own goals and security to chase someone else’s dreams. One can even say, if he is so in love with you, why doesn’t he find a job closer to you? In basic and harsher terms, his own goals are more important than your relationship… which is understandable. A year long relationship is a relatively short amount of time to say “hey, I’m gonna put aside my dreams and ambitions for this person.” This goes for both of you, whether he decides to stay or you decide to make the move.
Your situation is a tough one because a year is a short amount of time to distinguish what the relationship is worth. You also mentioned an age difference so there may be a difference in age-oriented agenda. I also don’t know enough detail about your relationship or your lifestyles. What I do know is that IF the relationship is important enough, then one of you will make the sacrifice/adjustment to be with the other.
Love,
~Joey
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